I haven’t seen it, and I wasn’t likely to ever see it, but the other Erick saw it and it sounds like it’s funny as hell. Not worth actually paying for, but he suggests waiting for it to come to Netflix.
The premise is pretty straight forward. Noah descends from the line of Seth. The serpent in the Garden of Eden shed its snake skin, which had magical properties that flowed from father to son. As Noah’s father was about to pass the magical powers off to Noah, Noah’s father is attacked by Cain’s descendent, killed, and Noah runs away. Cain’s descendent, soon to be King Cain, takes the snake skin unaware of its magical properties.
In flash back we see that Adam and Eve were glow in the dark space aliens who became fully flesh once Eve bit into the fruit.
I am not kidding.
Noah grows up and — herein is a problem — somehow in the barren wasteland in which he lives has found a wife and has three sons. He has a wicked cool dream that convinces him he must seek out his grandfather, Methuselah, who lives in a mountain, because the Creator is going to destroy the planet.
Noah and his family cross a Mad Max line wasteland of rubble, pipes, skulls, and destruction. They save Hermione Granger, but are attacked by Cain’s kinfolk.
Noah and family rush past a mountain of skulls and are attacked by giant rock monsters. The rock monsters hate people. Turns out they are fallen angles who decided to take care of Adam and Eve once the “Creator” cast them out of Eden. To punish them, the Creator covers them in lava making them rock monsters. They protected Cain’s folks until the people turned on them. Only Methuselah with his magical powers and flaming sword could protect the rock monsters from men. The rock monsters are rock like Ents, but behave like the green space aliens in Toy Story. They always look up and sing “the Creator” instead of “the Claw”
I am not kidding.
Read the rest, it’s really funny.
Meanwhile, I’m thinking someone else needs to see Noah first…
These guys –